Don't Quit!

What the heck am I doing? I'm not cut out for this.  This is not for me.  There's plenty of other things I could be doing where my talent's would be more suitable and certainly more recognized and rewarded. I'm wasting my time.  I'm not helping anyone.  I thought this would grow faster.  I'm so tired of everyone else not doing anything.  Why are so many people dropping out.  I'd fire their butts if they really worked for me or if I was really paying them anything.  They say they need to make money, yet they don't seem to introduce people.  They cant seem to sign up anyone.  Why can't they even call me back?...     STOP! STOP! STOP! Just stop that talk right now and STOP IT FOR GOOD! Quiet that little voice in side your head or at least don't listen to the negative talk.

You will never make it in this business if this is what's going through your head on a regular basis.  You have to determine right now that you will not quit.  Just like Winston Churchhill said "Never give up, never ever give up." In order to never give up you must understand going into this that the odds are stacked against you.  If you were just looking at odds however; then you probably would not have chosen to get into this industry in the first place.  But you did and that's because  you believe in yourself, no, even better than that, you know you can do it. Of course you can, you've seen some of the other people that have done it and are making gobs of money.  "If they can do it, I can do it" went through  your head at some point in time.  Well truth is, I believe you can too, no, I know you can. But first you must understand the facts because understanding the facts will keep your "little voice" that screams all those negative lines that we identified a moment ago more silent, or at least you will know not to listen to it.

Here's a fact.  The Direct Selling Association statistics say that 2/3 of the people you hire, sign up or enroll will be gone in the first 90 days.   That's right! Vanished.  That means 2 out of every 3 people will disappear within their first 90 days, and that is exactly what happens.  They go on an MIA list, they are literally missing in action.  I'm warning you right now this will include your friends.  Friends that you thought would be awesome at this, will just fade away, never to be heard from again, at least not in the context of your business.  I know the powerful manner in which some of them originally sign up, claiming "this is fantastic, were going to make millions" "dude I'm totally doing this with you" but they just disappear... "and then they were gone"... 

Another statistic says that of those that are crazy enough to stick around the majority of them only hire, enroll or sign up 2 other people.  That's right just 2 so don't get all discouraged when not everyone is a recruiting machine and love those that put in just 2. 

These two little facts generally have nothing to do with you and,  as unfortunate as it may be, are simply human nature.  Understanding them however will save you tremendous discouragement and frustration.  Oh, you will still get frustrated, but it won't be as bad because you will understand that it's part of the game.  In spite of these facts you can still create a tremendous income in this business because there will be those that duplicate you, you just need to keep looking.

Nobody told me this when I got in the business and as a result I thought I was failing.  I figured it must be something I'm doing wrong or not doing right.  There may certainly be those things as well but at least understanding these two statistics gave me permission to deal with the results a little differently than I did at first.  There are huge benefits to understanding this.  The biggest benefit being it will help to keep you engaged in the game longer which will increase your odds of success.  

So, never give up, never ever give up. Make the decision not to quit when  you first get in and then keep it when everyone else is giving up.  When you really think about it, the reality for someone to be successful in this business, silly as it sounds, they must either be crazy, stupid or determined. 

Your not crazy and your not stupid but by understanding the facts you can be determined and should be because you owe it to yourself and those you love to succeed in this wonderful industry.

Give Them Permission to Say NO!

My friend Ryan is avoiding me. What the heck is his hang up. I'm actually realizing that a few of my friends are avoiding me.  They are not quick to respond to my emails or calls and this is not like them.  It's like I've got leprosy all of a sudden.  What the heck is their problem?  I've deposited plenty into our friendship bank account over the years with no withdraw at all.   I'd say it's time for a little withdrawal, at least in terms of respect.  How many of you feel this way or have felt this way?  I'm sure you have if you are actively involved in the direct selling business.  Well let me let you in on a little secret that I learned right out of the gates.

You may think you are tiptoeing and being very careful because they are your friends or family and the last thing you want is to make them feel uncomfortable.  However; their perception is that you are STOMPING and attacking them.  You won't leave them alone and the last thing they want is to have you ask them one more time about your product because they really don't have an answer.  They are uncomfortable. Oh, they want to talk to you, they love you, but they don't have an answer and they don't want to let you down. Or, they simply want to say NO but they don't want to let you down.  Or, they think your going to leave them behind and they are scared.  They want to engage but don't think they have what it takes to be a pushy sales person.  They don't want to bother all of their friends like you are or at least their perception tells them  you are being pushy.

I know this because my friends Ryan apologized to me the other day.  His comment was "Sean I owe you an apology."  I said "no you don't" he said "yes I do. Please hear me out."  I listened as he told me how I was one of the most valuable relationships he has and the last thing he would want to do was avoid me but that he realized he had been avoiding me because he feared that I was just going to ask him about my product again and he didn't have an answer for me.  "He said "I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want you to hound me about _____  at that moment."  He actually used the word "hound."  I could have easily been offended because I genuinely thought I had been gentle about it. I had been tiptoeing around the subject and it was so hard for me to even bring it up.  I heard the message from his heart however and thanked him for his apology.  Prior to this meeting he had sent me a text message saying "We need to meet" it was an urgent message. I made myself available and yet it still took him 4 days to meet with me.  When he told me he just couldn't do it, I said "thats fine" you gave it an honest look, you kept the commitment you made to me to give it a try and I couldn't and wouldn't ask more of him.  I thanked him for the respect he gave me as a friend and told him I didn't want him to worry or think about it again.  After he apologized he said I don't know why I made this so hard on myself for so long when I told you no you made it easy on me.  "I didn't want to let you down, but I know you well enough to know that wouldn't be a problem, but boy... I sure made it a problem" he said. 

I'm not sure if he ever realized the dilemma I was in, all of a sudden being sent to the colony to wait out my days with the other lepers, but that was a pretty lonely feeling too.  It's one of the reasons most people fail at this business.  They get discouraged and give up.

This is human nature.  We all want to be accepted. We all want to be needed.  We all fear loosing the support system we have and the last thing we would want to do is alienate that lifeline of our support system.  Especially if it's a little weak in the first place which for most people it is very fragile because they haven't been depositing enough into the friendship bank account over the years.  We look at this industry and decide from our own perception that it's really only the strong or crazy ones that make it.  We perceive them as either super strong or super calloused and unaware of people around them.  These are the ones we want to avoid and wouldn't want to be accused of being like.  

Years ago I had an experience where a new friend, who wasn't really much of a friend at all but a new acquaintance who had so gracefully befriended me to get me in his business.  I liked him and liked the attention he was giving me.  He told me I had talent and could be a leader in the business and make a lot of money.  When I decided not to do the business,  actually I couldn't really say no but was saying no with my actions, he let me know that he and his wife didn't have time in their life for people that were not going where they were going.  I thought to myself what an arrogant jerk, I'm going the same place you are going, which to me at the time was toward the land of success, whatever that meant.  I was just going to choose a different route which felt better for me.  However in my young impressionable state it left a scar that I was not aware of.  Most of us have received a similar scar from some experience or multiple experiences in our history that cause us to fear loosing what we need most of all in life, connection.

So here is a secret if you want to be successful in this business.  Give your friends and family permission to say NO!  Do it quick and make it clear.  I like to say "I'd love to work with you in this business but I don't need you.  What I mean is, your not critical to my success.  So,  if it's not for you I completely understand.  No commitment at all cause we're friends either way."  I look them in the eye and say, "are we clear?" "I don't want you avoiding me because your afraid to tell me no.  If their is any reservation at all I need you to say no, for now." Let them say no and move on with grace and ease.  Don't be attached to your friends or family getting it, or getting in. 

Some say don't approach your warm market at least not your friends or family but this is a little contrary to the spirit of what makes this business so great.  No, I wouldn't hire all my friends and family in a traditional business, that wouldn't make sense. I would certainly hire the best people for the job.  Believe me I'm looking for those people in this business and that is where I need to spend my time if I am to be successful. However, if I have something that they can benefit from and I didn't share it with them I would not be much of a friend.  It's truly their decision what they choose to do with my introduction and I should not be attached to the outcome.  I can make it a lot easier on myself and them however, if I eliminate the dreaded cloud that is the destroyer of good relationships and potential success, if right out of the gates I give them permission to say NO.  Get them to No quickly and then honor their No by not treating them any different for their decision to not join me.  Celebrate it as a matter of fact and move on.  

Over the MLM Wall

It's early Saturday morning.  The gym is not very busy. Probably because everyone is sleeping in.  I'm running next to my good friend Greg.  We've run a couple of marathons together now and today is going to be a long run on the boring treadmill, with plenty of time to talk.  He's aware that I've been contemplating getting involved in direct sales, you know a multilevel marketing company (MLM). Yes, I know, everyone has already said this to me. "Why would you do that Sean, you've been so successful and have such a great reputation?" He's thinking the same thing.  We've had many conversations about it and he's identified his anxiety as I've talked about opportunities.  He avoids the conversations at this point and it's kind of awkward.  This morning after about 20 minutes of small talk, I speak up and say "Greg, I'M GOING OVER THE WALL."  "What does that mean?" he responds with a snicker.  "I'm going over the MLM wall".  He laughs at the reference to going over the wall.  "I'm really doing it, I'm going deep over the MLM wall and I don't think I'm coming back."  He laughs a bigger laugh this time, he thinks it's pretty funny, but I'm not sure what's going on in his head.  "I just want you to know you're invited to come." I respond.  He laughs again but this laugh is encumbered with an awkwardness that hangs in the air.  He says "I can see you now, crawling on your hands and knees under the barb wire and thru the muddy trenches." "Good luck with that" he adds.  "Oh but don't worry, I'll still hang out with ya." 

Till now I've been committed to a career in Real Estate Development and been successful.  I love real estate and have always thought it was the perfect business. I've made millions in the industry and have a solid reputation for what I've accomplished .  I'm 43 years old and just starting to get to that point where business starts to compound on the reputation you've developed, and I've developed a great reputation, built on trust. However, November 1, 2007 I sold my interest in the Real Estate Development company I owned and took a pause or a time out. The three main reasons for this were these.  First, the real estate market was suffering tremendously and I felt strongly it was going to get much worse, I was very concerned about the fundamentals of the market and believed we needed to shift our business strategy quickly.  My partners were not as excited about shifting our business strategy that we had done so well with.  Second, this gave me the opportunity to spend more time on my primary relationship with my spouse which was most important to me and needed attention.  Third it gave me the opportunity to spend time doing some things that I had always wanted to do and had been neglecting.  I also wanted to play a bigger game and though I didn't really know what that meant, I knew that it needed to involve a lot of people and massive contribution.  I had been a little bored and recognized from prior experience that when you are bored all you have to do to fix it, is examine your level of contribution and contribute more.  Though my level of contribution as CEO of my company was high it was being held back by my partners unwillingness to change and let my employees and I do what we knew we needed to do, they held the purse strings and I didn't see an opportunity to contribute more at the level that would fulfill this need.  

So, now I find myself many months later wanting and needing to get back to adding value again and in a big way, my soul not only yearns for it but my bank statement is telling me it would be wise. I've been intrigued with the MLM industry over the years and always thought that when I had time maybe I'd give it a try.  Actually I'm drawn to speaking and training in the area of personal growth and see MLM as a possible way to accomplish this.   I believe that I can help people and change lives with my talents and experience.  Maybe I need to see a psychologist, I could just be going thru a midlife crisis.  Maybe a fancy sports car or Harley is next.  Why in the world would I want to do this.  I live in Utah and there seems to have been an MLM bloom going on over the last 20 years.  Utah seems to be the incubator for MLM.  I don't know why but these companies are all over the place.  Just drive along I-15 from Salt Lake to Springville and you can't help but notice them dotting the landscape.  Most of them are Juice companies.  Everyone I know seems to have an aversion to this business and I've done such a good job of laying down a solid "No, I'm not interested" over the years, why would I want to change that.  What is everyone going to think of me? I might loose the reputation I've tried so hard to build over the years. 

We all know stories of people making incredibly fantastic sums of money in the industry.  Some of us know a few of these people personally.  What's so special about them?  We also know many, many, many more who didn't make any money and probably spent more than they made chasing the dream that was brewing in their head from fantastic seminars they had just returned from, where they set intentions of walking on the red carpet at the next seminar.

I'm an entrepreneur and a capitalist I understand business and I know what is required to make money and it's just not that easy, or is it?  What is required? Maybe, I don't really know anything at all.  Maybe, this is the best industry in the world and I've been to blind to see it.

How do I question this paradigm that has been built from years of observation in my mind?  I see some things that actually look quite attractive.  Such as it really is the purest form of marketing.  If I was to start a new product based company I'd probably be a fool not to look at marketing through an MLM channel because of the speed at which I may gain market share.  Not only that it would be more consistent and predictable income which any business owner covets. I like the fact that the industry is very positive and that a person with little means can change their life with effort and contribution.  I like that the industry promotes personal growth and improvement and the philosophy that as you Learn you Earn or that your income is in direct proportion to the level of your personal growth.  I like the fact that a persons efforts can be duplicated through teaching and this generates an increase of income. This is an abundance mentality.  There is enough stuff that is good that I have to question my belief system.  What I do know is that it's ridiculous to think that anyone can take anything internal away from me that I don't give them, such as my reputation.  So why should I fear.  Though plenty of people may change their perception of who I am on false evidence.  Such as going to the so called "dark side" and getting involved with an MLM company.  The fact that I am who I am is not going to change and I have a responsibility to myself according to my belief system, that I stretch and improve myself.  This is one industry that appears to not only promote this philosophy well but live it. 

Well, with all that said and out in the open I've come to a conclusion, that the only way I'm going to find out for sure is to do it and not in a little boy or girl kind of way but do it for real.  I've got to go over the wall and see what is on the other side.  I've got to go deep over the wall and if it's anything like what the good ones in the industry claim, I just might not come back.  Wish me luck!  The guys that are good do say there's a certain amount of luck to it.  What the heck does that mean?  I've been taught that luck favors the prepared mind.  I hope I'm prepared, wish me luck. I'M GOING OVER THE MLM WALL!